I feel an undercurrent swirling way deep down in the bowels of democracy, a genuine shift in thinking when it comes to our western attitudes towards Covid-19. One of those shifts that are so grass-rooted that Presidents or Prime Ministers remain entirely oblivious to the emerging dissidence. You see, unlike most cabinet level politicians and health officials, I believe that the people in the US and Europe (still including the UK – I think) have moved on.
Yep, we’re cruising past the Corona-rabbit-in-headlight-frozen-to-the-floor-or-tv-or-bed phase and have started the next phase of getting on with life with Corona and have kinda stopped listening to the politicians bang on about curves and ventilators and PPE and lockdown or exit or new norms, second waves, great depressions, social distancing, social gatherings or just plain socially f***ed. We’ve been doing it all long enough to get used to it and for God’s sake its gotten sooooo boring.
Also, lets face it, even our crappy school grade maths skills mean that we, the lowly people, have figured out that the pandemic bell like curve thingy we get served up daily like an upside down bowl of porridge means some time in June we’re gonna start going back to work, school, shops and maybe even the post Corona lockdown holy grail to end all holy grails which is a real friggin bottle of real friggin Corona in a real friggin pub. And for the record I have never in the past said pub lock in when I meant lockdown. Honest.
I just don’t think that we Corona-care as much anymore. We’ve become immune, not yet to Corona, but immune to the endless politico ramblings and stats and rules and generally depressing shit we get served day in and day out on every TV channel, newspaper, website and ad. Yep, we’ve finally become Corona tone deaf and started to figure out our own exit strategies cos if we wait for governments to come up with a real one we’ll be beyond broke and when you’re beyond broke who gives a shit about rules or ramblings or even Corona itself.
Mostly I see it on the roads, in the streets, shops and under-rumblings. I hear it from Dave-the-boss-man at Tesco every frigging week emailing me with how the entire goddamned nation’s back shopping with him cos he’s really cracked this Corona shop-till-you-drop in-store thingy and if you have Corona dropped then no problemo cos he’ll deliver to your door now he’s energiza bunny like gone and gotten a gazillion more delivery slots per minute than UK wide testing kits. Mind you, that’s kind of a low bar.
I also hear it from Tim-I’m-a-pubaholic-Weatherspoons telling us that his pubs will be open from June. And let’s face it no one’s gonna dare disagree with Tim cos he’s got the cheapest beer in town and drinks way too regularly with that other kinda scary guy called Far-arse. But mostly I see it in the divine Corona boredom now emanating from the Donnie and Bozzer show signalling that we really can start getting on with our lives alongside Corona cos they ain’t gonna figure it out for us mostly because they just wanna get back to Mar-a-lago or Chequers or banging other dollies. So, time to get on and off and get up-from-the-couch and start planning our post Corona, avec Corona June existence. And if our eminent Anglo Saxon leaders have confused you to the point of rigor mortis about what to do next just keep it simple and book a one way trip to New Zealand. Cos Jacinda really has got it all figured out.
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